


holding your pretty hands i want to fly far away

by heliorbit (7xkxkckx)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Non AU, follows pdx timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 10:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20673962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7xkxkckx/pseuds/heliorbit
Summary: A close look into how Eunsang and Dongpyo gradually find comfort in each other.alternately, five times they hold hands plus one time they hold hands again.





	holding your pretty hands i want to fly far away

**Author's Note:**

> theyre always holding hands like its their thing and its starting to physically hurt... anyways, its been awhile since the last fic i managed to finish and majority of this was written while i was procrastinating so advance apologies if it sucks or doesnt make much sense. but i hope you guys enjoy reading it <3 also happy birthday to our annoying but handsome prince kang minhee

1.

It starts out innocently.

Dongpyo mentions about feeling oddly anxious but excited to meet the _National Producers _for the first time. Eunsang shared his sentiment but it was more of a sick to his stomach anxious compared to the shorter boy’s ballistic energy.

Either way, both of them were nervous.

Eunsang quietly admits to other his fear that he might not be what the people were looking for, a small bubble of worry in the back of his mind that he might not meet any of their expectations.

“That’s not true.” Dongpyo quickly disagrees and gave him a look similar to the one when a parent scolds their child.

Eunsang chokes back the chuckle that threatened to leave his mouth. He didn’t know whether to take Dongpyo seriously or find the situation funny. It hasn’t been long since they became friends but the older boy treated him like they’ve known each other for years already.

“You’re Lee Eunsang. It’s hard not to like you.” Dongpyo says with a strong belief, it easily tugs the strings of Eunsang’s heart. The title track center has always been able to pull his heartstrings without much effort. “Trust me when I say they’ll love you.”

Eunsang chews on his lip to stop himself from smiling. Even though he’s easily swayed by the shorter boy, it doesn’t necessarily mean he had to show it. “I’m still nervous.”

“Nervous? When you’re beside _the_ Son Dongpyo?” The shorter trainee asks in disbelief and lets out a fake scoff. “Don’t be.”

Eunsang feels fingers lightly wrapping around his own, a brief sign of hesitation coming from the older boy. He doesn’t fight the smile that splits across his face and grasps Dongpyo’s hand in his, if he notices the slight tremble of it Eunsang says nothing and keeps his hold tight instead.

He admires Dongpyo for his confidence. Dongpyo is undeniably a brilliant trainee among his peers, if being the title track center wasn’t enough of an indication. He is a star that burns bright and Eunsang is willingly a part of his orbit.

“You’re right.” Eunsang says and squeezes the boy’s hand.

Dongpyo glances up to him, mild fascination in his gaze before it softens into something akin to fondness, a genuine smile gracing his lips.

“I’ll hold your hand whenever you feel nervous.”

2.

They were ten minutes away from performing and Eunsang felt like spontaneously combusting.

He can hear the cheers of people that came to see them at the front stage. He jumps on his feet to shake of his nerves and hopefully tone down the exhilarating thrill to perform running in his veins. Eunsang has a bad history of being too excited before the show and royally messes up in the actual performance.

“Excited?” Dongpyo appears beside him, mouth quirked upwards in a grin.

Eunsang mirrors the shorter trainee’s grin, “Very excited.”

“It was obvious at the way you kept bouncing .”

Dongpyo slips a hand in his and keeps him grounded. An indescribable sense of comfort washes over him and Eunsang finds himself relaxing a bit. The anticipation to perform resided in him still but he didn’t felt like spontaneously combusting anymore, his whirlpool of emotions now a calm. He doesn’t know how but Dongpyo always had that effect on him.

“Don’t you feel nervous?” The shorter trainee queries, head tilting to the side curiously.

_Cute. _“I feel more excited than nervous.” Eunsang explains, “Do _you _feel nervous?”

“A bit.” Dongpyo confesses sheepishly. “But I know our team will do great. We are the _Avengers _team after all.”

Dongpyo’s features were soft as he looked at him, eyes turning into crescent slits and the curl of the corners of his mouth making him seem like a cat. Eunsang’s heart races for a completely different reason from their approaching performance.

3.

Dongpyo seeks him this time around.

Eunsang hadn’t known about the incident until Dongpyo personally went to him that day. Practice evaluations of vocal and dance teams didn’t overlap and Junghwan had been particularly strict with their practice that he wasn’t able to check out teams from other positions.

He was surprised to find the boy outside _Twit’s _practice room, expression void of the usual vibrance it held, Eunsang immediately asked Junghwan if he’d be able to leave early. The other three present in the room craned their necks at them in interest, curious to why the youngest was in a haste to go back.

Junghwan spares a glance at the glass windows, his gaze softens then turns to Eunsang with a look of understanding. The older trainee rests a hand on his shoulder and wordlessly nods to grant him permission. Eunsang beams as he clasps Junghwan’s hand and shakes it gratefully.

His label mate laughs at his overly enthusiastic response then pats Eunsang’s butt playfully. “Go get him, tiger.”

“Please don’t call me that ever again.” Eunsang tries to control the flushing of his cheeks but the knowing smile Junghwan sends him clearly means he’s failing to do so.

That’s how they end up in his team’s quarters, the two of them settled on Eunsang’s top bunk at the far corner.

“I don’t think anything I do will ever be enough.” Dongpyo quietly admits with his shoulders hunched in on him, appearing impossibly smaller than he already is. “The _hyungs_ keep encouraging me but I think I won’t be able to pull it off.”

“I know you’ll prove the trainers wrong.”

“You don’t know that.” Dongpyo asserts stubbornly, lips pulling down into a frown.

“I believe you will.” Eunsang insists.

Dongpyo peeks through the curtain of his hair, Eunsang’s hand moves to brush it behind his ear before the action registers in his mind. If the sudden gesture startled him, Dongpyo doesn’t let it show. Still, Eunsang flashes a small apologetic smile that earns a weak nudge of assurance from the other boy.

“You’re Son Dongpyo.” Eunsang opts to say, reminiscent to the words Dongpyo uttered to him before. “You'll definitely do amazing.”

He twists his body to face Dongpyo and grabs both of his hands. Eunsang envelops them in his partially bigger ones, holds them in utmost tender and care he can. The older boy looks up to him, eyes reflecting the same fascination he once saw in them.

“You have too much faith in me.” Dongpyo then smiles, features soft and serene.

Eunsang simply squeezes Dongpyo’s hand as a silent way to convey encouragement. _I believe in you, _goes unsaid as he interlaces their fingers together. Dongpyo leans into him, head falling against Eunsang’s shoulder, and body pressed together in a comforting warmth. _Thank you. _

4.

Eunsang can’t point exactly when did holding Dongpyo’s hand became something close to second nature.

Holding hands wasn’t exclusive for the two of them as Dongpyo is quick to grab whoever’s hand was closest to his when he’s excited and Eunsang is the type to provide comfort by rubbing circles on the back of the person’s hand. It was common among the participants as well, as though grasping each other’s hand was a universal form of contact.

But it occurs between them so often that other trainees eventually believed it was natural to come across Eunsang and Dongpyo holding hands.

Somehow their hands just find their way to each other and then would Eunsang realize he’s already holding Dongpyo’s hand. In nights where he’s far from attaining sleep, his mind likes to linger on thoughts he chooses to cage in a box and hide it on days where sparing even a minute outside practice is unaffordable.

Most of those thoughts revolved around Dongpyo.

Eunsang knew there’s a reason to why the older boy’s presence helps him calm down most, why he seeks Dongpyo’s comfort out of everyone else despite having a label mate still participating on the show.

But it’s probably unwise to acknowledge the reason why.

“I’m so nervous.” Dongpyo placing his hand on top of Eunsang’s brings him back to reality.

Currently, the third official rankings were being announced and they were down to the last seats. Like always, Eunsang laces their fingers and tightly grasps Dongpyo’s hand in his. He can only hope that the gesture somewhat eases down the other boy’s nerves slightly.

Dongwook describes the next trainee who’ll place twelfth and Dongpyo tenses up beside him.

“I think it’s me.” Dongpyo faces him, apprehension deeply marred in his expression.

“You should place higher.” Eunsang doesn’t hesitate to tell him.

Eunsang was aware of the burden Dongpyo’s currently carrying, the pressure as the title track center has always been there and now the worry of his dropping rank. He couldn’t make sense out of Dongpyo ranking eleventh, outside the debut lineup.

It doesn’t make sense if he goes another rank lower.

Dongpyo grips his hand a tad tighter to gain Eunsang’s attention, “It’s okay.”

The older boy flashes him a smile he supposes should be reassuring but Eunsang knew better that Dongpyo was most likely harsh on himself for the decline of his ranking. He knew better that a secured path to debut is what Dongpyo is aiming for.

Yet, he keeps all of it to himself. 

5\. 

It was the day of the final broadcast.

Two members of the official group have already been called. Junho stands on the stage, eyes brimming with tears of pure joy but the young soon-to-be idol doesn’t shed them and maintains a cheerful demeanor until the end of his speech.

“He made it.” Eunsang almost doesn’t hear Dongpyo due to the screams of the fans. “Our Junho’s making his debut.”

“You’ll be next up there soon.”

Dongpyo gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Eunsang knew what was going on in his head, he recognized the flicker of defeat in his eyes, heard the hint of exhaustion in his otherwise assuring tone. He won’t let Dongpyo give up that easily, not when they’ve reached this far.

He reaches out to grab Dongpyo’s hand and squeezes it twice.

“The three of us promised to make it together, right?” He reminds Dongpyo of what they’ve sworn with Junho back in a journal room they frequented after hours of rigorous practicing of _Boss_.

The memory causes a faint quirk to appear on Dongpyo’s lips, “We did.”

“You’re going to make it too.”

If Eunsang is certain of anything that involved in this mess of a show, it’s Dongpyo’s debut.

So, there’s no surprise when he’s the first to react, the first to pull the shorter boy in his arms as soon as the name of his label was announced. Eunsang had been the happiest for Dongpyo when the boy himself couldn’t believe it.

Dongpyo looks breathtaking under the stage’s spotlight. Eunsang yearns to hold his hand when he tears up, yearns to chase all his doubts away and say, _I always believed you’ll make it. _

But Eunsang longs most to be the name he mentions to come up.

(When he gets called as the final member of the group, it was a bitter win for Eunsang.

He couldn’t find it in himself to be happy of placing within the group at the expense of his peers. He’s elated to achieve his dream but it’s hard to be truly happy about it when others were denied the chance of debuting.

Still, Eunsang is grateful to be able to debut. To be one step closer to his dreams.

And when he finally meets Dongpyo on the stage where they stand equally, Eunsang thinks he can swallow the guilt since it’s certain that he has Dongpyo with him from now on.)

+1

Crowds might be one thing Eunsang won’t get used to being an idol despite experiencing them each time they step outside.

Almost a month into their debut and Eunsang’s stomach still churns at the sight of a sea of people waiting for their arrival, countless of cameras flashing and recording their every move. He swallows the anxiety that rises up his throat, hands balled into fists at his sides.

It was a price to pay. He wanted to be a celebrity then he needs to deal with what comes with it.

Today is one of those days. Eunsang was particularly excited at the idea of boarding a plane for the first time with his members on their way to an official schedule. Yet, he paled the moment he was reminded of the amount of people anticipating them at the airport.

Eunsang is eternally grateful of their fans but this was something he’ll deal with through gritted teeth.

He braves the path towards the check-in begrudgingly, a schooled expression he learned to perfect in front of the public. A phantom of a touch on his hand catches his attention and Eunsang finds Dongpyo standing beside him, eyes reflecting a certain type of concern that appears only for him.

Dongpyo grabs his hand with finality, thin fingers enclosing around Eunsang’s.

“You’re still scared of crowds?”

Eunsang thinks it works almost like magic. The bundle of nerves he’d been trying his best to disregard disappears as if he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable in the first place. He meets Dongpyo’s inquisitive gaze in awe at how easy it was for his fellow member settle his nerves. It has always been this way with Dongpyo. Easy, calming and _safe_.

He leans down to whisper to Dongpyo, “Scared to lose you.”

Dongpyo attempts to pull his hand from Eunsang’s grasp but the taller boy was quicker and tightens his hold around Dongpyo’s smaller hand.

“You’re so sappy. It’s disgusting.”

“You love it.” Eunsang quips and smiles to himself when Dongpyo only rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it.

He considers his next words in a beat.

“Holding your hand makes me feel calm.”

Eunsang carefully chose the words he uttered as they were surrounded by countless of fans, phones and cameras on them that capture every moment possible. He strokes a thumb over the knuckles of Dongpyo’s hand and gains the attention of the shorter boy. _I like holding your hand. _

Dongpyo glances at their hands fleetingly before discretely intertwining their fingers, hidden under the sleeves of their clothes.

“Me too.”

The smile Eunsang receives makes him forget about everything else momentarily. It was as though they weren’t in the middle of an airport, barely weaving their way into the crowd. The world becomes a whole blur, the noise drowns into an indistinct buzz and all he can see is Son Dongpyo.

Dongpyo whose hand perfectly fits in his.

**Author's Note:**

> i know the fic is lacking but if you reached this point thank you for reading this mess <33  
if you wanna talk about eunpyo, 02z or x1 in general let's be friends on twt [(@loveunpyo)](https://twitter.com/loveunpyo) !! or you can send me stuff on cc [(heliorbit)](https://curiouscat.me/heliorbit) :D


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